An Open Letter To Parents

 There is a John Mayer Song that says, "Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, so mothers, be good to your daughters too."

Parents are someone with whom you can safely say that they have seen it all to some extent. They have seen you being born, being broken, being happy, etc. But why is it then that we feel disconnected the most with them, the most vulnerable with them. We often end up saying “Ma, you won’t understand” or crying ourselves to sleep just after we had another one of those arguments which makes you doubt every fiber of your being (well it will have to be a hell of an argument to break you to this level if you are Asian XD).

We want to first start off by saying we truly do love and appreciate everything you do for us. We know we talk back and make your life hard. We know you go out of your way and beyond to provide for our family. We are extremely grateful for you and thank God every day for the both of you!

Secondly, we want to apologize for our attitude. We are sorry that we are always talking back and we are sorry for living off you and not going out on our own. We know you want us to get a job and move out. High time, huh?

But what you don’t know is that when you don't support your child, it hurts them, and it hurts your relationship with them. It's going to hurt their relationships with other people.  They grow up into adults who feels like they are a broken shell of a person desperately trying to pick up the pieces in an attempt to heal. To be fully able to share genuine love, empathy, and acceptance with others who are present and emotionally available. And we end up chasing people and even if we do meet someone who is ready to accept us with our emotional baggage, we end up not trusting them.

Yes, we know Ma, Anu auntie’s daughter recently won the national scholarship. Yes, we know Dad, Anil uncle’s son matched into a surgery program at Harvard. But hey look here, we won the national debate. Ma look we finally graduated top of my class. Ma, Papa are you looking? See we made it. we can’t see you in the crowd. We’re sure you’re amidst the crowd clapping and cheering. At least that’s what our heart tells us. But are you? Are you happy? Did we finally make you proud Ma?

The answer has always been ‘NO’. Hasn’t it? Nothing we have done has been quite enough to make you proud of us or take notice. 

Even though some people would say we seem like an accomplished, confident, and well-adjusted person now; we know that we are still a raging mess inside. Our cracks are showing in my relationships, in our inability to trust or depend on others. We don’t count our laurels or achievements. Nothing matters to us. We’re conquering every challenge thrown on our way, hoping, hoping dearly that maybe you’d be proud of us in that success of ours. That day would be the one day we were waiting for.

Hope that day comes soon. Util then, Love you Ma & Pa

Yours sincerely,

Your Children